At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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