i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
