I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
