he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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