Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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