i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
