There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
