he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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