Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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