Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I skipped work to stalk him.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
