Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
