32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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