I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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