I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
