He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
