I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
