I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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