I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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