Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
