she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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