What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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