My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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