normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize