Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
