guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
