I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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