She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
