dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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