I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
