im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
