Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
