Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I could make wine with my vomit
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
