party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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