Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
