Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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