Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize