he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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