how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
