Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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