what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
