i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
