Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
