My room smells like vodka and shame
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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