i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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