I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
