using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
