I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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