apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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