how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
