3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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