I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
