I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
