Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
