Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
