It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
