Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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