hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
