I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
