I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize