We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
