I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
