need another drink. this is the easiest way
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
