Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize