well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
