did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
