Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
