Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
