sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think my vagina is haunted
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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