suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
