Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
