I wanna passion pit in your ass
what day is it and did you see me today?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
