The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize