Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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