I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
now i know why i became what i already was.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
