Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
