i permit you to call me
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
