11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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