My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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