She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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