well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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