She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
