Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
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